Ok, finally got a picture up here.

This is us on our wedding day. Walking into the hall for dinner. I made my bouquet and added the colored crystals to the waistband of my dress. I also made the flower he is wearing.

Ok, how I did this. I emailed a post to my blog and attached the picture to it.
Then, to get the picture onto the profile, clicked on the picture to make it big and then copied the URL/Address box and pasted it into the picture place on the edit profile page.
Waa laa!

Well, let's update for this week

Well, I got my husband to talk to me and as ovulation day approached I desperately needed to have sex. So on Saturday while my parents went to the hospice with my aunt, we did some outside work since the weather was nice, plus 5 loads of laundry. Having two more people at the house sure adds up the laundry pile.
So anyway, we got done with our work and Steve pops out that he is going to this silly Halloween party with his friends. The way he made it sound was that if he didn't go to this party he was never, ever, ever in a million years ever see Derek and Anne again. (Ok, they live 20 minutes away from us and just because Derek has gone back to school apparently that means that they can not socialize on weekends, I was not aware that happened when you returned to school) So he has the grand idea, ( obsessed with something sexual for his Halloween costume) he wanted to be a peep show, then a kissing booth, then a puppet show, then I can't remember as I was working inside then. So he decided to be a Kissing booth so of course I ended up making the damn costume for him.
Ok so I am ticked that he is going to this stupid party when my parents are here. So we are watching some TV and I ask him if he wanted to knock one off since the kid was outside and the parents were gone. Get this, are you ready ok here it comes..............................................................
He says "I have a headache"
Yep he really did. I was like whatever you just don't want to have sex when I want to because then apparently that means I am in baby making mode when perhaps, rare as it may be, I am horny.
So he proceeds to fall asleep on the couch. Then my mom calls to let us know that my aunt is going to die any minute now.
Well, that phone call woke him up and out of curiousity, I asked if the headache went away.
"Well, I have to take a shower and get ready to leave." He had an hour and a half before he had to go. So he wanders into the bathroom and I just pushed him onto the bed and took advantage of him. Needless to say he took for freaking ever to get the job done. We were almost done and Alex knocks on the bedroom door, never heard him come in the house, "Grandma's on the phone" So scramble around to find some clothes, grabbed the phone and found out my aunt had died. Then for some reason mother is all chatty on the phone and I wanted to get off the phone.
So then we get back to business and finally he got 'er done.
Biology lesson to follow:
Based upon the appearance and texture of the cervical mucous, it appeared to meet the definition of the Fertile.
However, the temperatures had not risen sufficiently to provide further follow up to the act of ovulation.
I did awaken this morning with pains in both ovaries, so am I going to get my triplets after all?
So based upon a web based fertility chart I am not supposed to ovulate until Thursday.
Cervix location is High, soft and slightly open. Don't get no better then that. So I guess we will be trying out the fold out couch since my parents are in our bed. Hope it isn't too squeaky.
Wish me luck.

Ok?

Just playing with something new. Kind of cool.

I want to put this on the template

Ok, I want to put a picture on the main page of my blog but can't figure it out because I am technologically challenged. I am lucky I can type on the 'puter most days.
Here goes my attempt at posting a picture. Ok, stupid thing won't let me enter a picture. So I will work on it and see what I can do.

Swear Like a Sailor

Ever wonder where that saying comes from? I always wonder where all those different sayings come from. I have gotten some emails that explain some of them but still. Is there a book out there that lists them all?
I just wanted to post that I tend to swear like a sailor so if you don't like swearing then you probably won't want to read my blog. So far only one person has found me. Love ya Lola. Debating on whether or not to share my blog address or whatever you call it with some of the girls on PAM.
I don't want them thinking I am any more "disturbed" then they probably already do. Still haven't got that figured out yet.

Pouty McPoutster

Yeah, He was still pouting when I get home yesterday. Oh well. If anyone should be mad and pouting it is me. He is basically in the control seat and now anytime I approach him about having sex he will think it is just to make a baby. Hello, occassionally I do like it just cause.
So what he accomplished with being home all day.
Put a load of laundry in the dryer.
Made Alex vacuum the living room.
Played Playstation and bought him some new clothes for his golf guy on the stupid game.
Yeah, impressive, ain't it? Oh well, how come I think of all kinds of good things to write just as I am falling asleep at night?
Oh yeah he slept on the couch again, his decision this time, claimed the cat was crying. Really? You never here the damn things crying any other night. Whatever! Dicksmack.

Jerk Face

Ok, so last night I had a few beers after getting home from work. Did dishes, made dinner the whole nine yards. Oh yeah and 3 loads of laundry, most of this done before Steve got home from work. Well, I used one of the sticks from my Ovulation Predictor Kit and it had a faint line indicating that I was getting close to having the Lutenizing Hormone surge, meaning getting close to ovulation. So I didn't share that information with Steve.
So we had dinner and a nice evening and then when it was time for bed I asked him, since he used this line on me the other night, if he wanted to get freaky? Of course he did, he is a man.
So we did and it was good. ;) Then after I was stayed laying on the bed and he asked me what I was doing. So I told him, I am letting the spermies swim upstream. Then he has the nerve to say,
Steve: " I thought that the week after your period it was safe to have unprotected sex? "
Me: " I thought that we were going to start trying again this month?"
Steve: " I never said that."
Me: " Yes you did, a month ago when we got back from my parents that weekend. "
Steve: " No I didn't"
Me: " Yes you fucking did! Asshole!"
Steve: " I don't want to be forced to have sex just to make a baby. I want it to be fun. It will be like work and I feel used. "
Me: " Did you know you were being 'forced' to 'work' at it the last time I 'used' you to get pregnant? "
Steve: " I kind of suspected but just went along with it"
Me: "Fuck you!"
Steve: " I want you to get healthy and to stop thinking about getting pregnant, then I will consider it"
Me: " Fuck you! I will never stop thinking about what it would have been like to not have lost my baby in December, it would be 4 months old now and in my fucking arms. "
STeve: " You have to quit obsessing about it"
Me: " I am not obsessing about it."
Steve: " I don't want to have to wake up at 3:00 in the morning to have sex just to make a baby"

Me in my head, "Fucking ass, fucking jerkface idiot dickwad, Maybe if you would have helped me move all the crap out of the house up north when it finally sold I wouldn't have had to move heavy shit in the rain with my mother at 8 weeks pregnant and wouldn't have lost my baby. But no, you had to go to a Halloween party because Joanne said you had to go, well you can just plan on fucking going to the one on Friday too then cause I don't need or want you around. Just go. I will just go out and find some guy with dark hair and brown eyes and fuckhim the bathroom of some bar, after getting his complete health history of course because everyone just carries a card with that information in their wallet, right? Oh yeah, you are a dicksmack too! Kiss my ass. No don't stay away from it, it is mine. Apparently I need your permission to decide when I am healthy and ready to have a baby. Maybe if you had never impregnanted me last fall and I never had the joy of actually being pregnant I wouldn't want to get pregnant and stay pregnant now. Fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!"

Ok, he slept on the couch. Good for him. Then the jerk didn't even wake up this morning when I was up making coffee, getting ready and even told him twice to go into the bedroom. So I kept turning the TV up louder and louder. Fucker isn't a light sleeper though so it didn't even phase him. Too bad he has a doctor appointment today and didn't have to go to work. I bet nothing gets done at home other then what I asked Alex to do for me before I left. He is off school today and tomorrow. So I didn't even get the satisfaction of waking his sorry ass up this morning. Not fair. Yes, I am being a baby. I can, this is my blog. Ha, Ha I will be laughing all the way to the bank when I write my memoires. Yes it will be a number one best seller for those with ADD.
Ok I am done for now.

Why can't I write nice?

I have been reading on some blog, typepad and livejournals lately and the women that are writing these are so eloquent. I wish I could write like that. I wonder, do they write it out and then go over it many times before they finally have it perfect and post it on their sites? I am really glad now that I have not shared this with the world.
Another thing I notice is that they so dedicated to documenting and keeping focused on either their losses or all the testing and frustrations of trying to get pregnant again. Is there something wrong with me that I do not write just about that? I guess this is my Blog to with what I want but when I first started it I thought ok I can document every detail of trying to get and stay pregnant on here. Well, as you can see that didn't stay true for long.
One thing, my daddy called me yesterday and told me that he finally went in to have the Lupus anticoagulant antibody blood tests done. One reason I wanted him to do that was for my so that I can go to my doctor with test results that show they should be looking for those in me. I think that is what caused my first miscarriage simply because of what I had read stated that there would be hemorraging and clots, which I had tons of with that one. Another reason I wanted him to have it done is that he has 8 or the 10 symptoms of lupus yet that is about the only thing his doctor hasn't tested him for. So dad went and donated more blood to get these test results for me. Apparently he is interested in acquiring another grandchild at some point in time. YEAH!!!! Thanks pa.
So the old folks are still set on doing this damn Mexico thing. WHY!!!! Too bad I can't throw a temper tantrum like when I was a kid and get them to change their minds. So they are officially leaving the northwoods on Friday and coming by me for who knows how long. Since my dad's sister is in a hospice with brain tumors it could be anyday now that we have a funeral.
At least I get to see them for more then a day before they abandon me for 6 months. WAAAAA!
So I have done what I can to help out my cousin, see how I just change from that whole baby subject to something else? Anyway, I called the place that they want to do the luncheon after the funeral and have gathered pictures for her to put up at the funeral. I don't know what else I can do to help out other then just be here for her.
Apparently I have ADS since I can't stay on topic for more then a minute. I need to go see the Herb Guy to get a new dose. I should do that today since Steve can tell I have been out for a couple days now. Gee, can't be just cause I live with you, could it honey?
You know if someone who didn't know me or probably even someone who does know me would be thinking, she is such a bitch, oh yeah if you know me that is a given. Really, I love my husband, my parents, my cousin and my kid but sometimes you just have to vent and this is my place to get it out so I can just be nice to everyone else. According to this course I took online today that is a good way of handling anger, stop, drop and roll before saying anything.
Ok, I think my idea of a book is out unless they market it to Attention Deficit people.
Is it summer yet? I want summer back so that I can play softball and my parents would be back from across the border.
Ok, better go for now. Check back in if I can focus on something for more then a minute.

Finally Friday

Finally! End of the week.
Well it was crazy since last Thursday around my house. Parents came down on Friday, my dad's sister is dying with brain tumors so they took the trek down south to see her before she dies. Had to bully my father on the phone to get him to do it. He did not want to but I told him he better unless he wants the next time he sees his sister to be in a box.
So they got to my house on Friday night and I had been home all afternoon cleaning and cooking for when they got there.
So then on Saturday we packed up the kid and went to see, as my father puts it, "All the old Fuckers that are going to die when we are in Mexico for the winter". So first we go see dad's Aunt Olga, 97, blind and deaf, sitting in a pee stinking nursing home where her only child and his wife have stuck her. They claim they picked this place because it smelled better. I can't believe that any place could smell worse then where she is at right now. Anyway. Alex was an angel. He gave Aunt Olga a big hug when we got there and when we left.
Then on to see Aunt Valerie at the hospice. This place is super duper nice, for a place to die at I suppose. Anyway, when Alex walked in her face lit up and he sat by her and held her hand for over half an hour. Not many 12 year olds would have done this much on a beautiful Saturday. So we stayed there for a few hours. I got to talk with my cousin and we had a couple laughs.
Then on to "Old Fucker" number 3 for the day. My dad's Uncle John and his wife Sue. We met them for dinner, nope they are not in a special home just their own real house. We met them at a bar/resturant. Good food but really loud because it is kind of a sports bar so of course they had the dumb football games on and people were cheering and crap. Anyway we ate and chit chatted for a while with them. Then when we were leaving that place Alex shook John's hand and gave Sue a big hug. I was just sitting there going to myself, "Did we grab the wrong kid when we left home this morning?"
Then we head home and get ready for bed. I let the old folks that don't plan to die in Mexico sleep in my room and I slept on the fold out couch. Not too bad sleeping there either. Other then for the stupid cats having to be a-holes all night long.
Then Sunday mom and dad get up and go see Grandma and then back to see Val. I stayed home and got some things done around the house.
Then Monday I came back to purgatory, or work, and they went back up to see Valerie. Apparently dad and Val had some good times talking about old memories and laughed and cried a bit. That is good for the old guy so he isn't so dang bitter all the time. Maybe he will finally let go of the story that Valerie dropped him on his head, hmm, explains alot. Or the fact that both of their tempers made it so that they didn't talk to each other for 20 years and caused Jen, Chris and me to not know each other until we were grown up.
They left on Tuesday after attending Alex's soccer game on Monday night and the team scored the second goal of the season. Tuesday nights game they scored the third. The boys were talking smack that they were going to sweep the tournament then on Saturday. I guess we will have to wait and see.
So dragged myself to work and took off Thursday because I wasn't feeling well, didn't want to go to the stupid staff meeting and also had to help Jen get some stuff organized for when Val does pass away. So we got that done. I remembered, finally to call the place that she wants to have the luncheon after the funeral at.
Work sucks, yeah, yeah.
So that is the past week in a nut shell. I am wondering if I should tell my parents about this blog, maybe not, then I can't vent about them. Dad would get all bent out of shape like he did when he read my private memoires of the first Mexican Adventure.
Of course after he read that then he is like, I didn't know you hated me. No don't hate you just your freaking attitude sometimes and your fucking orneriness. Just deal with it sometimes.
Also need to get a tape recording of him sleeping when he makes the baby goat sounds.
Need to do some back data entries but haven't quiet figured that all out. Might as well get the entire life of adventure in one spot for publishing.
Get to start trying for a baby in the next two weeks. Steve better have his energy levels up.

Yah!

Ok, back at my lovely job. Twits and bitches in full swing again today. I love my job, I love my job, I love my job. Gotta keep saying it or I am going to lose it.
I have been trying to make contact with this girl from the PAM support site who has been going through hell the past few months and is actually moving to Illinois, just across the border from where I live. Apparently I am not good enough with my comments on her live journal for her to post them. or even respond back for that matter. I offered to ask my doctor for references to doctors in whatever town she moves to but she apparently just wants to sit and whine on her journal about how she is moving and not going to know anyone and blah blah blah.
I feel bad for everything she has been through yet after 5 miscarriages she is just now asking for testing as to why.
Oh well, her loss not wanting to be my friend.

Freaking bitch

Ok,
Right when I found out I was pregnant the last time there was a whole load of shit going down at my office. I was forced to move from my window seat that actually was alocated for my program to have. Apparently over the course of the years that staff have been located in this building that point have conveniently been forgotten.
So, I was forced to move because my supervisor, who was the supervisor for this program at the time everyone moved into this building had also forgotten that fact. I had to give up my window seat and move to a cubicle that I can't even see the fucking windows because the original cube I had been in when I moved to this building had been taken by someone else and my coworkers cube had turned into the computer graveyard when she quit.
Ok, back when everyone moved into this office my program had a window seat and a person actually sat there. Then she relocated to a different office and due to continued vacancy a different program just moved one of their staff into that cube. So the Air program has been located in the window seats for several years. What should have happened was that when Rachel and I started here one of us should have been placed back into our space on the window.
So 2 years ago there were three vacancies in the Air program so the supervisor at the time said that I could move into that cube because they were not going to fill those vacancies. Then last year the budget allowed them to fill the positions.
So instead of me being allowed to stay in my cubicle I was forced out and a program assistant was given my cube.
Background on this bitch, she was supposed to be working out of the Milwaukee office but they let her move here because she bitched enough and is a pretty scarey bitch that she got her way to be allowed to work out of this office. She does nothing all day and I really don't know why that program even needs a pa. Well, she also is getting her college paid for by the state, plus gets comp time for her hours going to school even though her classes have nothing to do with her job. So, she campaigned against me telling everyone that I shouldn't get to keep my window seat because I was looking for a different job. Hello bitch! I have been looking for a different job for 4 fucking years and I am still here. Due to her scaring the crap out of all the supervisors or else having something to hold over all of them she got the window seat and I got the boot.
So today some of the Water staff who are apparently big butt kissing buddies with the bitch were talking about how another staff person was upset that he wasn't allotted a bigger cube when it came open and someone else got it. The little twits discussing this were like then it should go by seniority, yeah and that guy who complained should have gotten it. So I made the mistake of saying, if seniority was the case then I shouldn't have had to move from my window seat. Then the one Twit who is close ass kissing friends with the bitch has the balls to say to me, ok this twit has only been in this office for about 6 months, that Technically you should have never been given that window seat. Hey I was offered it and was told that I wasn't going to have to move even if the vacancies were refilled. So I told her that the original plan for this building did give my program a window seat and that if she didn't have her head up the bitches ass so far maybe she would have thought about that. Well, then she gets all pissy and goes I am not going to get into it with you because you are wrong. Uh, hello! You are wrong Miss Twit and I am soooooooo fucking pisssed off right now.
I have over 15 years in here and have been in this shit whole office and region for over 4 years so have way more seniority then you plus your husband married you because you gave him no fucking choice, just moved in with him and got a job here at our office so he couldn't possibly get away from you.
I may have to go in the field today just to get away from that twit and the Princess(bitch).

Monday, Sucky Monday

Well, I'm baaack.
Started out the weekend with the To-Do List. Had the living room cleared out and was shampooing the carpet when the husband came in from doing his part of the list. "Honey, there is water leaking under the trailer. " SCREEEEEEECH! Ok, halted the list and add something new on. Determined that the leak was under the sink in Alex's bathroom. Ok, this is also the bathroom that the catboxes sit in and noone had scooped poop since Tuesday. So yeah, they smelled.
So before shutting off the water to the entire house I finished my carpet cleaning. It had to wait a couple hours to dry anyway, right? Well, figured out that it was a major mess to repair. Not just the single line leak that I had dealt with in the past. Oh no, had to be three freaking lines. The water coming in to the bathroom, line going to the tub or toilet and then the line to the sink and also to the rest of the freaking house. So, I draw a picture, take my measurements and off to the hardware store I go.
Get there and the MEN act like I should just call a plumber, not going to happen so either help me or get the fuck out of my way.
So, once I get them to realize I am going to do this and they can either help me or else here about it, they decided to help. So we figure out that I have to venture into a new world of plumbing. Using the PVC pipe and the cement. Previous experience had been with a brass barbed fitting and screw on the flexible hose to the faucet. So after much questioning and reading and rereading the directions on the cement bottle, back to the house I go.
So I get there and shut the water off and disconnect the crap that was in there. Making that first cut is always so scarey. But I forged ahead and soon had the pieces where they belonged and onto using the cement. Got it all put together and never to be taken apart again.
Then find out the drain pipe is leaking. Apparently the previous owners instead of actually tightening up the parts just stuck it together and then applied a ton of caulk. Took a lot of weight off the bathroom floor when I pulled all that shit out.
Then back to putting the furniture back into the living room, ok, this is 4 hours after I originally had planned to do this. Got the house back in order and discovered a horrible stench coming from the microwave. Take into account that this microwave has been with me for the past 15 years. My mommy bought it for me for my very first apartment after I got a job. So it is probably due to be replaced. Now it stinks to high heaven.
Ok, Saturday is done now off to bed.
Sunday morning, rise and shine.
Head to Home Depot and get my sink parts and oh yeah, husband broke door knob off back door yesterday so we had to get a new one of those too.
Get home and put my sink together. Guess what? The part I bought was defective and I have to return it and get a new one now because it was the part itself that leaked not any of the locations that I had sealed and connected. Good quality let me tell you. They better not give me any shit when I take it back either.
So the husband also dug up the 4 flower beds that had these god forsaken lillies growing in. The silly lillies were taking over the steps in front of the house and also the shed doors. Now hopefully they are gone. Yeah! Wish I could have gotten outside and played in the dirt but my husband, god love him, would have ended up with even more leaks working with that crappy piping we have in that trailer. So next weekend I can do that as long as the snow doesn't fly or rain or my aunt doesn't die and we have to go to the funeral.
So I am off now to return my sink parts and hope that the next one works. It would be nice for the kid to be able to brush his teeth, in his own sink. He makes too much of a mess in mine.
So wish me luck and I have more Home Improvement Adventures from the weekend but need to got get my parts.

Another day

Well, not too much new. Just waiting for this month to be over so that we can start trying to make a baby. Good thing my husband doesn't read this.
Last night Steve and Alex were just bickering back and forth. The minute Alex walks through the door Steve has to be on his ass about homework and doing stuff around the house. I have tried to tell him to just wait a half an hour before jumping on the poor kid cause he is soo much like his mother that he needs some time to just settle down before getting harassed.
Some day he will learn how to deal with a stepson, hopefully before Alex graduates.
I was thinking back on all the dumb and fun things I have done over the years and I am thinking I may start putting them in here. Then someday I can take this whole blog and publish my novel of Life in the Northwoods. Not sure on that for a title but I do have plenty of time to figure that out. I have 38 years worth of stuff to write down first. So as of now, this is all copyrighted information, noone can steal my oh so eloquent words and make a fortune. Yeah, like that will happen. Ok, enough for now have to do some work.

Finally able to access this silly thing

Ok, I know that no one is reading this but I am adding crap anywho.
Took me two days to figure out how to get back in here. I am writing it down this time.
Well, so far I have been feeling fine. My parents are leaving for Mexico the first of November and won't be back to Wisconsin until May sometime. How am I going to get along without my mommy?
What if I do get pregnant again? They are even more technologically challenged then I am. No cell phone, not even OnStar in the new car. No phone at the rancho in the deserto that they are going to be living in. So far I haven't cried but it could happen.
We were up north over this past weekend and cleaned out and sorted all the treasures mother and I have collected over the years. We have enough to start a modest Trash or Treasure store between the two of us.
So had to come back to work on Monday which sucks big time.
I really have to wonder if my supervisor even knows who I am or what I am supposed to be doing here. Since he is not in the same office I have wonder just what does he actually do all day if he has no idea of what his employees are supposed to do.
To backtrack a bit. Last Thursday the region held a Length of Service Celebration for those of us who made it 15, 20, 25 or 30 years in State Employment. Well, lucky me I have not won the lottery in the past 15 years so yep I am still here. Well, all the other people being honored got really nice personal type speeches from their supervisors. I mean, it sounded like their supervisors actually knew these people as more then just a name on paper or a timesheet to over analyze every two weeks even though the work is getting done. This is the person who was on vacation the week I lost the last baby and had the nerve to call me the following Monday and question me as to why I had taken the prior week off using sick leave. I had called the other supervisor to let him know I was going to be out and even came in during that week to turn in my stupid timesheet just so I wouldn't end up on the stupid " Late Time Sheet List".
So anyhow, he gets up there to give a speech about me and one other person who I have known for all of the past 15 miserable years. The speech he gave about me was just the information that I had emailed to him when he had asked me for some highlights of my career. Plus then he had to read it right from the paper, and I have worked for this man for 4 years now and he didn't even get the stuff I have done in the last 4 years right and even seemed surprised that I had actually done some of that stuff. Nothing like making you feel like shit more then normal just having to work in this region.
One good thing that did happen since the last time I remembered how to access this thing, Steve gave the Green Light to try again for a baby. WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
So look out November here we come. I have been so excited about it that I keep saying November instead of October when I talk to people. I must want October to be over.
So that is it for now I think. I can always post another one now that I know how. Yeah, did I say I was technologically challenged?